Lets Talk FemDom – A Guide To Becoming A Male Submissive

If you haven’t heard of the term FemDom, it means female domination, and it’s when a woman dominates either a man or a woman. In a nutshell, it’s when a woman takes control. Interestingly enough, there are far fewer female dominants than male submissives, so women who like to take charge in the bedroom are in demand.

How should you address a female dominant?

A female dominant can also be known as a domme, domina, or dominatrix. There are many terms of address, such as mistress, ma’am, your highness, and goddess. If in doubt, call her whatever she tells you to!

How do you attract the attention of a domme?

Pick your venue carefully. A BDSM munch or fetish party might be a good place to start, or you could seek her out online via a dating site such as Fetster.com.

Once you’ve found the domme of your dreams, the hard work begins. If you are meeting her in public, dress up and pay attention to grooming. There are a lot of applicants applying for the position, so you’ll want to put your best foot forward. Just like you would for a job interview, make sure you turn up on time. Early is much better than late. If you’ve known her for a while and this is your first meeting, consider bringing a thoughtful gift. It doesn’t have to be expensive, just something that will open up the lines of communication.

Even though you’ll probably be horribly nervous on your first meeting, try to make small talk. You don’t want to be the first one to talk about sex. She’ll bring that up all by herself as long as the meeting is a success. If sex, kinks, and fetishes are brought to the table, keep it light to start with. This isn’t the place to air out your innermost fantasies – there will be plenty of time for that later. Feel free to share the things you are most interested in, and some of your experiences to date if appropriate. If in doubt, let her lead the conversation – and remember – this isn’t all about you. Make sure you listen as much as you talk unless instructed otherwise.

On your first date you should always keep your hands to yourself. Look but do not touch! If your luck’s in, you may be invited in for a coffee later. If you’re not, leave her with your business card and give her time to consider your offer. Embarking on a new relationship can require a good deal of thought, and if she tells you she’ll think about it, respect her decision.

A word of caution – never ask for sex! This can be a great turnoff, and you are going to instantly make yourself look desperate. If you’re the right man for the job, she’ll let you know.

At the end of your meeting, feel free to ask if you may see her again, but accept her reply and do not push for more. If you want to give her a hug – get permission first! This will be a power exchange relationship – so remember the dynamics.

What does a domme want in a male submissive?

She wants someone that can submit to her authority, worship and adore her, and help to play out her dreams. These might not necessarily coincide with yours, but if she’s feeling charitable, she may reward good behavior by letting you play out a few of your fantasies, too.

No two dommes are alike, and they will all want different things, so you need to find out what those things are. That’s not going to be anywhere near as easy as it sounds. It could be intelligence, witty banter, a caring manner, a good body, or a fun sense of humor. It could be all of those things or none of them. They might simply want someone who’s hot for them, but women are rarely that easy. Simple skills will go a long way when trying to attract your ideal female. Cook her a meal, bring her a cup of coffee, and get inside her head. If you find out what she really wants, you’ve already won half the battle. The fun is in trying to lose the other half!

 

-Christina Mandara

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